I like many am trying to see 2017 as a new start and moving on from the negatives in the world and I experienced in 2016 although there were many good moments. My top 16 great moments of 2016 were:
1. Firewalk raising money for Warrington Disability Partnership.
2. Starting to learning to Drive after a 10 year break.
3. Steam Train ride in Llanberis, Wales.
4. Attending a conference at the Maritime museum in Liverpool on the way forward with the referendum result.
5. Listening to a lecture by Mark Carney, Governor of the Bank of England.
6. Short breaks on the Isle of Wight in May and November.
7. Helping out at the 6,000 prize tombola with WDP.
8. Week long cruise on Britannia around La Rochelle, Bilbao, Last Coruna and Guernsey.
9. Trip up to Northumberland early in the year.
10. Lymm Transport Day with Friends of Warrington Transporter Bridge.
11. Day at Chester Zoo.
12. Afternoon at NT Croome Court near Worcester for my birthday.
13. Keeping up my with blog and writing.
14. Meal out for the 5th Anniversary of meeting my partner Paul Sapple in early May.
15. Creating underground style maps including Warrington, Chester & the Isle of Wight.
16. My cat Jasper getting better after being ill.
As talked about in a previous post on anxiety and depression, both of which I have experienced throughout my adult live, and have spent days stuck in the house and having feelings of inadequacy in regard to employment. I constantly compare myself to others, and get into a cycle of feeling like I am not worth as much as others, as haven’t “made it yet”. Application forms and interviews I do dread at times with the feeling I won’t be good enough so what is the point? I know I have made mistakes in a couple of jobs I didn’t enjoy and have feelings of guilt about letting myself and others down. I also know have at times procrastinated not knowing which way to go next.
Although I know I am lucky relatively living in a house, get the food I need, have a loving partner, and some great family and friends, and get to visit places I enjoy going to. I need to remember my positives of gaining my degree and the community groups I have been involved with locally.
This new year should be the one I look forward and push past the negatives, and start to train myself to think “make it happen” in regard to employment and feelings of achievement instead of waiting around for something that may never come along.